HAPPY PALENTINE'S DAY!

03:44


So as we know Valentine's day was just more than a week ago and now that even the Anti-Valentine's week is over(yes there is an Anti-Valentine's week also) I thought the time was ripe to do an article about it. Actually, this is more a rant than an article. So that being said I'll be a little more voluble with this one.

Now that all that is established, let's talk about a small, pudgy, diaper-clad angel hitting people with arrows. Sounds painful? Well, it isn't. You'll know why by the time I'm done ranting. This year's Valentine's day was just like every other; To some, it was an excuse to go snogging all day, some didn't give a rat's ass about it and others; the painfully single singles, as  I call them, gave their sinfully limited vocabulary some good public exposure. I heard people using some effectively ear-burning and nasty sounding profanities for Valentine's day.

But frankly speaking, I thoroughly enjoyed myself looking at people's hilarious attempts at making their point about how Valentine's day is just a sad holiday and a marketing gimmick. Now, mind you some of these things came from people who had actually proposed to their love-interests on V-day and got rejected. I mean dude, there's a good chance she might've gotten the exact same proposal card from the local gift shop along with a Dairymilk Silk last year, and the year before that. What were you thinking?

 Now don't get me wrong, I do believe that Valentine's day is a marketing gimmick and flower shops and gift shops make the most amount of profits during the infamous V-day. But the way people were being exceedingly vindictive about it made me question why. I heard people saying the same premeditated "You should love them every single day" crap. And it is true to some extent. But why not be excited about a day when you actually get to spend some quality time with your better half or your parents or friends. Now I might sound like a total hypocrite saying what I said just now. But think about it. It's a win-win for all of them; for instance, those young 16-year-old couples can get on with all their hanky-panky on park benches without feeling the least bit awkward about it because there'll a row of other park benches filled with other 16 to 20 somethings doing the same things. Those painfully single singles can get not one but a thousand sympathising shoulders to cry upon.

They can choose from an assortment of different shoulders and if they're lucky enough, their Valentine's day won't be so sad after all *wink* wink*

 Police officers just have to take a nice peaceful stroll through the park and they'll make more money catching enthusiastic pairs than they usually would by catching rich brats not wearing helmets. "Bagal waali Pinki Aunty" will finally have some saucy gossip against 'that awful Aarti woman's" spoilt, unscrupulous daughter. Parents won't be so happy as their hard-earned money will be spent by their children getting ridiculously expensive gifts for their 'babus and shonas'. But it won't be a problem since there's father's day and mother's day to make up for it. Tanmay Bhatt and AIB also get to shine anew by introducing new viral hashtags and hosting 'dart throwing at cupid' parties for singles to let off some steam!  Even small children these days are made to create Valentine's gifts for their classmates in school. Talk about fancy!

That being said, I'll tell you why my Valentine's day was great. My mum woke me up at 2 p.m.(Yes I wake up late. I'm awesome!) and she was holding up a cute imitation stone ring that I'd been wanting for quite some time. And then she said, "Will you be my Valentine?"
I know what you're thinking, but no I am NOT making this up. This actually happened. Do you see now? Maybe Valentine's day isn't so bad after all. Go celebrate it with your parents and - as cheesy and corny as this might sound - your pals. Have a happy Palentine's day people. XO Gossip girl(Ha! Always wanted to do that)
Roses are red,
Violets are blue
Got done with the rant,
Man was it tiring! Phew!

Hey guys,
I'm back at it with another attempt at satire. Hope you like it. These are just my opinions regarding Valentine's day. I don't see any reason for people hating it. I mean sure you can have opinions if you like. It's a free country right? But it is so ironic to see so much hate on the day of love. So just penned down my thoughts in the funniest way I could. That being said, have fun with your pals and your gals, maybe even buy them some gifts. You might get some in return. Just saying!
Have a very happy Palentine's day next year people.
Lots of love,
Tanvi

You Might Also Like

7 comments

  1. Tanvi change your bio(No more a Novice)👍😉

    ReplyDelete
  2. This was amusing as usual Tanvi. You're great at satires now. And yes, loved the cynical take on Palentine's Day, as you call it. Do keep writing. Cheers!

    ReplyDelete

Popular Posts