Scratch your head

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To believe or not to believe is a never-ending conundrum with the firing of Johnny Depp, Kevin Spacey and James Gunn. Guardians of galaxy director James Gunn was fired and is going to be replaced by some other director for a seemingly sexist post on twitter that he had posted some million years ago and fans are enraged. 

Being a celebrity means being a celebrated person who is occasionally harassed, groped, talked filth about on international television without any qualms. "Free from the fetters of faith and strive to be cynical". This is what the ‘Entertainment page’ in newspapers want us to do. Newspapers urge us to believe, egging us on to doubt the characters of those we admire. It doesn’t take us much time and effort judging relentlessly as we sit comfortably on our ergonomic couches, with a bag of chips, munching away towards obesity. Great Sunday afternoon activity right? So looking at this grave situation I thought of something strange and yet it made me think about all the possibilities it could entail. 

What would happen if there were a section called “Scratch Your head” instead of the normal celebrity-info section? This section would unearth lesser-known facts about people from all walks of fame; Sinfully famous, the ‘in trend’ famous, Instagram famous, Youtube famous. It won’t be including the musical.ly famous breed because of obvious reasons. It won’t reveal any names, just a plethora of interesting, bizarre, fun facts that’ll make people scratch their heads for associating faces with those nameless, faceless facts. By the way, before people start judging me for how bad this idea is, in my defence, this was a midnight thought. I’m crazy at midnight. This trend would mean a sure shot jump into the abyss of failure because of the following reasons:
  •        People don’t care about just gossip. They care about the piece of gossip only if it’s about someone they know or have heard of.
  •        No one cares about lesser known “facts” about a celebrity unless these facts are either scandalous and/or commercially useful to the normal run of the mill newspapers.
  •        We all want something or someone to talk about at dinner. If there’s a fact without a name, our dinners and tea parties would be spent talking about superficial stuff like careers and environment problems and oppression, after we’ve run out of some intense neighbour bashing titbits. Talk about unfortunate!

But things would be so different if this were to happen. There would be no “Celebrity airport looks-hit or miss?” sections where meticulous scrutiny of what people wear after an 18-hour flight with terrible food, would be covered. Extra points to the celebrity whose makeup is on point(because they put in special effort to hide kangaroo-pouch sized bags under their eyes). Now we know why actresses and models wear sunglasses that cover half their faces.

There also wouldn’t be a ‘who nailed whom, actor covers his face so please zoom’ or headlines like ‘Rustin comes out of Belena’s house, to read more please browse (to page 3)’ Reporters would be so much happier when they won’t have to tail some sleazy, cheating celebrity at 2 in the morning just to get blurry pictures of his half-hidden face.


This wouldn’t mean people would stop reading the Scratch your head section. This would just encourage less gossip and more guesswork. Won’t that be great?

Hey guys,
This post is rather short but I had to write it. The firing of James Gunn made me think about all the shit, celebrities have to go through. I guess 'having-it-all' does come with a price. What do you think?
Until next time,
Lots of love,
Tanvi x

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2 comments

  1. Superb article & so is the quote (Mark Twain)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wonderfully written as always. Liked the innovative views on the page 3 world! Short and sweet. Keep writing!

    ReplyDelete

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